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marcovicci:

whats up w/ grown men who look at all the evils of the modern world and go “the real enemy is teenage girls, with their duckface and their smartphones and their selfies and their boy bands. they are destroying culture”

(via fuckloadofquiche)

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The cutest tinder boy has a dog named Gertrude !

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The cutest tinder boy said I was more attractive than he expected too ee

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Omg hottest tinder boy

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Omg the cutest tinder boy is cuter than anticipated ! Sound the alarm

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also tomorrow night after the future islands show (!!!!!!) i am supposed to meet the cutest of tinder boys eeeeee

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today our teacher was explaining that for pitchfest we have to bring a sheet w our contact info and a picture and i asked if it had to be a picture of our face bc i don’t have many of those ;) so yeah grad school’s wrapping up just fine

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me

(Source: allisoneargent, via bossypants)

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therumpus:

The Rumblr’s in-house astrologer, Madame Clairevoyant, presents her latest dispatch from the stars:
 Aries: This week, your own world is going fall into some kind of strange orbit around you; this week, everything’s going to work out the way you need it to. Every single thing is going to be okay. Try to believe this, try to let it move you, try to let it light your way. This week you can be daring, you can be weird, you can be your best self. Spend your days with the people who believe in your magic even more than you do. Spend your days outside; spend your days with the windows open.
 Taurus: This week, the world’s going to unfold itself slowly and carefully. This week, the things you’ve been waiting for will start to show themselves. If you’re not patient you could walk right by and not notice the hints of green; if you’re not patient you could walk right by and never see the bright moments of gold. You might not even realize how long you’ve been waiting; you might not even realize how bad you’ve needed the gentle love your world can show you this week. Live quietly and listen to songs about joy.
 Gemini: This week, feel the world you move through speeding up, and feel yourself speeding up in it. Even if you don’t yet know where you’re going, let yourself pick up speed. As you move through your days, let the energy of the sun and the sky and the street build up inside of you; let it keep you going. Keep moving this week, even if you’re not sure where, even if you’re not sure why, even if you don’t think you’re ready to arrive. Watch thunderstorms this week, watch the tides. Trust that you’re where you should be.
 Cancer: Some things might feel messy this week; some things might feel strange, out of order, mixed up. This is a week for rearranging, for putting the pieces back together, for changing the shape of your world if you want to, if you need it. It might not sound like it but it’s such a gift, such a blessing, such a chance. This week you can rebuild your heart and you can rebuild your home and you can make things better; you can make it right. Cook foods that take a long time; cook meals that make you feel strong.
 Leo: This week, watch the world around you pick up color, watch it gain in brightness, watch it shimmer like sunlight on a lake. Your world is going to be full of such beauty it could knock you over; your world is going to be filled with such a clear gentle light, it won’t even make sense. Let this goodness fill you up; let it make you brave; let it make you the kindest version of yourself. Call your family. Fill your house with flowers, or eat fruit, or watch the trees outside begin to bud.
 Virgo: You’re maybe going to feel like you don’t know everything you should this week, like you’re in the dark, like there are doors you need to open, like there clues and secrets and keys you need to find before you can finally live. Try to remember that you already have the things that you need. Try to remember the steel in your bones and the warmth in your heart. Write letters, write in your journal, write stories you can look to when you need to be reassured that you’re wise and you’re brave and you’re true.
 Libra: This week, if you want, you can make so much noise. This week, if you want, you can get noticed, you can be seen. Think about your sharp edges, think about your most jagged dreams. This is a week for speaking the strangest truths you can. This is a week for letting yourself breathe and letting yourself grow. Think about the noisy songs in your heart and let them sound in the night. Let yourself glow like a beacon, let yourself shine like gold, let yourself catch the light, let yourself light up your town.
 Scorpio: This week, everything’s going to be okay, and your world is going to be a little soft, and your days will be filled with small bright things. This week, you can believe that everything will only get better and better; this week, you can make it true. Feel the strength that’s been sitting inside you, quiet and sleepy all winter long. This week, feel your own weird power move through you, feel all the things you can do, and don’t hold back. Don’t be scared of your own vitality. Drink so much coffee and watch the sun rise.
 Sagittarius: This week is going to be full of turning points, full of possibilities, full of invitations to change your whole life. You don’t have to say yes, but try to pay attention, try to always remember that they’re there. Try to always remember that everything could change. Try to remember that there are exits, there are ways out, there are different lives that could be yours, if you want them. It’s not about the changing, this week; it’s about the choosing, it’s about living the life that you’ve built on purpose.
 Capricorn: This week is for living in goodness, as much as you can; it’s for living in light, it’s for living in long sweet afternoons, it’s for going to the park and watching your world get green. Try not to worry so much about your plans; try not to worry so much about your bright bendy future. Try not to worry so much about how to live best, just let the morning sun touch your face. Listen to the music that pours out of other people’s windows, other people’s cars, other people’s headphones on the bus.
 Aquarius: You’re going to be given so many choices this week; you’re going to be given so many different ways you could live. Try to be as daring as you can. Try to be guided by courage; try to be guided by your dreams more than your fear. This is a week to make choices that seem strange even to the people who know you best. This is a week to trust your guts, it’s a week to trust the wisdom that lives in your muscles and bones. Tell your weirdest stories. Listen to Joanna Newsom.
 Pisces: The world is going to show you so much this week; the world is going to stretch out like the widest field, like the longest highway, like the densest bluest night. This week, it’s okay to ask for what you need, in this huge strange world. It’s okay to tell the truth to anyone who asks for it. It’s okay to tell your friends how you want to be treated, how you need to be listened to, how you need to be loved. Listen to the ocean, listen to the river, listen to songs about staying.
Today’s image was made specially for Madame Clairevoyant by Jen May.

therumpus:

The Rumblr’s in-house astrologer, Madame Clairevoyant, presents her latest dispatch from the stars:

Aries: This week, your own world is going fall into some kind of strange orbit around you; this week, everything’s going to work out the way you need it to. Every single thing is going to be okay. Try to believe this, try to let it move you, try to let it light your way. This week you can be daring, you can be weird, you can be your best self. Spend your days with the people who believe in your magic even more than you do. Spend your days outside; spend your days with the windows open.

Taurus: This week, the world’s going to unfold itself slowly and carefully. This week, the things you’ve been waiting for will start to show themselves. If you’re not patient you could walk right by and not notice the hints of green; if you’re not patient you could walk right by and never see the bright moments of gold. You might not even realize how long you’ve been waiting; you might not even realize how bad you’ve needed the gentle love your world can show you this week. Live quietly and listen to songs about joy.

Gemini: This week, feel the world you move through speeding up, and feel yourself speeding up in it. Even if you don’t yet know where you’re going, let yourself pick up speed. As you move through your days, let the energy of the sun and the sky and the street build up inside of you; let it keep you going. Keep moving this week, even if you’re not sure where, even if you’re not sure why, even if you don’t think you’re ready to arrive. Watch thunderstorms this week, watch the tides. Trust that you’re where you should be.

Cancer: Some things might feel messy this week; some things might feel strange, out of order, mixed up. This is a week for rearranging, for putting the pieces back together, for changing the shape of your world if you want to, if you need it. It might not sound like it but it’s such a gift, such a blessing, such a chance. This week you can rebuild your heart and you can rebuild your home and you can make things better; you can make it right. Cook foods that take a long time; cook meals that make you feel strong.

Leo: This week, watch the world around you pick up color, watch it gain in brightness, watch it shimmer like sunlight on a lake. Your world is going to be full of such beauty it could knock you over; your world is going to be filled with such a clear gentle light, it won’t even make sense. Let this goodness fill you up; let it make you brave; let it make you the kindest version of yourself. Call your family. Fill your house with flowers, or eat fruit, or watch the trees outside begin to bud.

Virgo: You’re maybe going to feel like you don’t know everything you should this week, like you’re in the dark, like there are doors you need to open, like there clues and secrets and keys you need to find before you can finally live. Try to remember that you already have the things that you need. Try to remember the steel in your bones and the warmth in your heart. Write letters, write in your journal, write stories you can look to when you need to be reassured that you’re wise and you’re brave and you’re true.

Libra: This week, if you want, you can make so much noise. This week, if you want, you can get noticed, you can be seen. Think about your sharp edges, think about your most jagged dreams. This is a week for speaking the strangest truths you can. This is a week for letting yourself breathe and letting yourself grow. Think about the noisy songs in your heart and let them sound in the night. Let yourself glow like a beacon, let yourself shine like gold, let yourself catch the light, let yourself light up your town.

Scorpio: This week, everything’s going to be okay, and your world is going to be a little soft, and your days will be filled with small bright things. This week, you can believe that everything will only get better and better; this week, you can make it true. Feel the strength that’s been sitting inside you, quiet and sleepy all winter long. This week, feel your own weird power move through you, feel all the things you can do, and don’t hold back. Don’t be scared of your own vitality. Drink so much coffee and watch the sun rise.

Sagittarius: This week is going to be full of turning points, full of possibilities, full of invitations to change your whole life. You don’t have to say yes, but try to pay attention, try to always remember that they’re there. Try to always remember that everything could change. Try to remember that there are exits, there are ways out, there are different lives that could be yours, if you want them. It’s not about the changing, this week; it’s about the choosing, it’s about living the life that you’ve built on purpose.

Capricorn: This week is for living in goodness, as much as you can; it’s for living in light, it’s for living in long sweet afternoons, it’s for going to the park and watching your world get green. Try not to worry so much about your plans; try not to worry so much about your bright bendy future. Try not to worry so much about how to live best, just let the morning sun touch your face. Listen to the music that pours out of other people’s windows, other people’s cars, other people’s headphones on the bus.

Aquarius: You’re going to be given so many choices this week; you’re going to be given so many different ways you could live. Try to be as daring as you can. Try to be guided by courage; try to be guided by your dreams more than your fear. This is a week to make choices that seem strange even to the people who know you best. This is a week to trust your guts, it’s a week to trust the wisdom that lives in your muscles and bones. Tell your weirdest stories. Listen to Joanna Newsom.

Pisces: The world is going to show you so much this week; the world is going to stretch out like the widest field, like the longest highway, like the densest bluest night. This week, it’s okay to ask for what you need, in this huge strange world. It’s okay to tell the truth to anyone who asks for it. It’s okay to tell your friends how you want to be treated, how you need to be listened to, how you need to be loved. Listen to the ocean, listen to the river, listen to songs about staying.

Today’s image was made specially for Madame Clairevoyant by Jen May.

(via doskapozora)

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stand-up-comic-gifs:

Chelsea Peretti

one of the greats!

(via coffeecrankinthrumysys)

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i laughed at this

(Source: flushwithcash, via buttwyatt)

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lindsaylohansmugshot:

my friend played the most fucked up prank on her mom and there are tears streaming down my face

this is funny but you shoudnt call your mom the devil in your phone

(via fuckloadofquiche)

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(Source: tiniestshorts, via buttwyatt)